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Not All There... Yet - Nicole Pacer

For most of my life (until recently), which would be about 14 years, I have been a Catholic. Raised in a catholic home, went to church every week, Sunday school... but nothing really felt real. I mean, I never felt totally one with God and Jesus, and his Church. Never really understodd the Catholic doctrines, or cared to know more.


That all changed when I was homsechooled for 7th grade under Seton, a Catholic program. Religion was required and I remember thinking, "Ug! More work!" But, to my surprise, I had so much fun learning about my faith!

Suddenly, I understood the church more, reconized important traditions and the reasons behind them. I felt... more alive, more one with Jesus and my faith than ever before. It became important to me.

I started listening to Christian music (like Skillet, Flyleaf, Matthew West, etc.) and getting mroe books to read about my faith. Participating in events and church more... It filled me with happiness, like I was finally doing what I was supposted to be doing all along.

My Confirmation was comming up, and I thank the Lord that Seton has such good books for perparing for that. I think that learning in depth about this special scarament has helped it to be more special. If I hadn't read these things, I would've not taken the promise as seriously, or understood it in the fullness. It would have been, "Oh yea. confirmation. It was fun." And thats it. But reading it helped a fire burn in my, making me sure that this is what I wanted to do, that being a Catholic is what I wanted for sure.

Since all this, I feel like my life has meaning. I understand more fully, am closer to Jesus. I can certianly say that He is on my mind a lot more! ;-) I care more, am more aware of the world around me. I just feel like this is where I'm supposted be! I have no doughts about my faith anymore.

I guess I'm writing this for the people out that who don't feel totally connected, kind of out of it, sunday Catholics, or poeple who just have doughts about there faith in Jesus. I want to say, especially to the kids and teens, to keep learning about your faith! Go deeper! You'll get an awsome experience and feel better, happier about life. Just ok is not enough. Be there, all there, with Jesus. He's waiting for you to open your heart!

I'd like to close this with my favorite part from a Matthew West song 'Moment of Truth', "You got your hand on the bible, but your heart feels like stone, cause you think that you've made to many mistakes to come home. Your losing your will and your losing your way, and you wonder if you even believed, in the first place. Go back, to moment of truth. when you first talked to Jesus, and he reached out for you, oh. Hes still reaching! So when this life makes you wonder. what have you got to lose? Go back, just go back to the moment of truth."

Nicole Pacer